Now Playing Tracks

I am literally the epitome of a relationship gone wrong. I can’t help it. I fucking love you and I’m scared to lose you. So when you’re going out to a gay bar with your ex, what do you expect me to do? Be all fucking rainbows and sunshine? I’m sorry, but no. Not to mention owner of said gay bar you’re at sends you pictures of his dick and you don’t tell him to stop. It bothers me and I’m sorry. I can’t change my mind on these things and just suddenly accept them.

I sat in the parking lot of my work last night and cried for over an hour, but you were too concerned about going out to even care. 1 phone call and that’s it. Then you went out and never came back. I tried talking to you from 2:30am until I fell asleep at 5:30am. Not everything I said was nice, and I’m sorry; I let the sadness and alcohol get the better of me.

I’m not even mad at you. I’m hurt. Hurt like you couldn’t even comprehend. I don’t understand why you’re willing to hurt me again and again just for a night out with your EX BOYFRIEND. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m not putting myself through anymore nights like last night. I love you, but I can’t handle this anymore. We can talk it out because I do want to be with you, but changes will need to be made. On both our ends. I love you, Jack. I hope someday you’ll love me enough to work this out.

I miss this so incredibly much.
Do I miss you? I shouldn’t. But I do.
But I’ve accepted what we are, and I am really happy that you found someone to make you happy.
I know you don’t want me even thinking about you, and normally I’m not. But every now and again I come across pictures like this and I can’t help but to remember everything.
You were the first boy I’ve ever loved.
And it’s still hard coping with the fact we aren’t going to love again.
But I know that you’re happy now.
And one day I’ll be happy again.
But don’t think I’ve ever forgotten anything.
Because I remember it all.
Crystal clear. Like a picture of perfection.
But you’re someone I’ll never forget.
I love you.

Finally.

After 8 excruciatingly painful months of heartbreak, agony, and prayer. I’m finally over you.
You obliterated me. Destroyed me. Turned me into a person I never wanted to be.
And finally, I can let it go.
I love you.
And maybe some day we can love again.
But for now.
I love me.
And I don’t need you.
And I’m happy.

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union